So Sentimental

Being reclusive has its benefits. We all need hibernation, a state of mind beyond the comforts of maintaining the half-empty, half-full moments of our life, where we can be insecure, uncomfortable, and vulnerable. It's difficult to write with complete honesty in a blog, yet ever so often we are compelled beyond our rationality and we enable ourselves to spill ours guts to a world that only consists of one or two people glancing through your page only to find it too boring and personal to read. Today I told myself that I would write/type in such stark honesty, yet I find myself transcribing code through unnecessary diction and elaboration. Well to say it straight up, I am at what may seem like a trivial moment in my high school segment of life in a few years. A crossroads that means so much to me now, yet won't matter in the future. What is it that compels us to pursue such retrospectively meaningless.... adventures? The adventures turn into misadventures and amidst the negativity or positivity of such endeavors, insignificance blockades the path to current happiness. We preserve an intellect that is based solely on emotion and sentiment. In the end, it and her just become a memory, and most of the times, we want that memory--and is that what keeps us going? I've lost it.

Happiness

Can happiness exist without sadness? too often we find ourselves in a quandary of balance... balance between yourself and everyone and everything else. sometimes this struggle pinpoints itself between a reach of character, but more often than not, the conflict exists as a result of balancing yourself and the other person. i struggle to find peace and quiet between any of these entities and in return, i meet disappointment and its ugly, repugnant face. no, happiness cannot live without sadness, but we continue, knowing we cannot live without happiness. in the vein of christopher mccandless, happiness only real when shared.